The Loving Wife Scam

I got nailed by this scam last weekend and it still hurts.

loving-wife

GRATUITOUS SEX

Seemingly coming from nowhere, the mysterious lady will approach you, pretending to be your ‘loving wife’, complete with gratuitous sex and your favourite snack.

She will then effortlessly guide the conversation in order to subtly ask if you have a balance on your credit card.

This is where you MUST answer, ‘Yes, it’s completely maxed out dear’, otherwise she will cleverly slip it from your wallet whilst pretending to enjoy fondling your coconuts.

‘IT WAS IN THE SALE’

Later that day, while you rest comfortably on the couch remote in hand, your card will be used to purchase half a dozen ridiculously overpriced ‘sale’ items.

This scam is so diabolical that even when you receive a token gift yourself, purchased with your card of course, you will still feel thoroughly used.

At this point the strange woman, posing as your ‘loving wife‘ will then revert back to the far more familiar ‘moody hag’ and will disappear to wherever it she goes when she doesn’t want something.

About Lee Munson

Lee's non-technical background allows him to write about internet security in a clear way that is understandable to both IT professionals and people just like you who need simple answers to your security questions.

Comments

  1. TONY BALONEY says:

    the surest, quickest on-fire scam is pretend to become a psychic and buddy up to a recently widowed, retiree with a clear titled no mortaged home……….after, you have given him many FREE READINGS and spell casting good luck chants for pennies on the dollar, then NOW ask him to co-sign for you on a nice luxury new car(FULLY LOADED of course). most expensive bolts & nuts you can find. and tell him you will make the payments. Of course, after only a few months of making the payments, your business hits a road-block and you find you cannot make the months payment, asking your new found wealthy retiree to make this months payment for you, with a promise of many, many new psychic readings and be sure to bring your scamming, low-life psychic relative(aunts, uncles, cousins, father, mother,etc.,etc.)bums into the picture to help with all these new free psychic readings. your NEW wealthy retiree will love you for these SO-CALLED FREE READINGS AND GLADLY COUGH UP MONIES FOR YOU…..use all that free money to make the monthly payment on that new car of yours, which is actually HIS money to boot.It will not be long until the retiree will start naking the payments on that car, just to be sure his credit stays intact. OH YEA, be sure and have him get the car serviced(oil, tire rotation, wash&wax,etc.,etc.) because YOU know nothing about all this car-slang and S T U F F……..always be sure your sleezy, low-life, fat-stinking, scamming relatives stay involved to make the retiree feel like he has this very, very nice new family who love him to DEATH!! GhEEZE- OH -PETE, you have now got yourself a perpetual human ATM machine ready to spit out those hard earned dollars every time this sleeze-ball psychic bats her evil eyes at you. FOLKS, do please BEWARE of these sic, sic low-lifes and watch over your loved ones closely, as these days, life is getting tuff out there and the douche bags are out there ready and willing to scam you.

    P.S., always remember, that when this so-called psychic gal tells you that the man living with her is only HER poor, broke, destitute, loving, harmless BROTHER, needing a place to stay for a few weeks, she actually means he is REALLY HER HUSBAND!!

  2. You’re not wrong!

  3. jessy pete marqez says:

    i try to say that my gonna be wife wants us to chat anlone on that chatroom talk like that we are husband and wife and did you know that all girls are jelouse types that all of them is like mad when a guy talks to a friend and to a girl just to be nice to them and my brother wife she is to bossy to him that she doesnt like him play video games all of the times and she doesnt let him go to the movies of sometimes and she is to jelouse of him to hang out with me the most of times and she wants him to get a job when there is not that much jobs out she wants him to do that for her to get her pappers becuse she is a mexican came from mexico so is this a scam what she is doing

  4. jessy pete marqez says:

    my wife is not really my wife yet and she is not here yet she wants me to pretend that we are wife and husband

  5. Strangely enough my wife only wants to fondle my coconuts when she has spotted something in the sale too.

  6. Another really funny post. How do I keep missing these gems when they first come out?

  7. Well that’s good, at least he’s getting his money’s worth!

    David’s quite happy for you to be less than pro-MK in your comments btw.

    Thanks for loving my site though :)

  8. Arabella says:

    HA! However long it takes to get the job done!

    I have posted on Dave’s blog. Not much. Don’t agree with the whole MK thing and most posters over there are very pro MK, so I don’t say much.

    Love this site, though!

  9. Arabella says:

    I think so. And with 2 kids in the house the only way either of us gets any action is to “scam” each other. Otherwise, who has the time or energy!

    I asked loving husband to replace our carpet with wood flooring and his immediate response was “Only if I can take it in trade” which translates into “how long will you play with my coconuts!”

    • I’ve never had this problem – if i want some ‘action’ I just phone Scametta and tell her to come over.. she’s normally here within 10 minutes :)

      Of course now that you have left me with a question, I need to know the answer…

      … just how long did you play with his coconuts for? ;)

      P.S.

      Do I know you by another name on David’s MK blog?

  10. Arabella says:

    I am a loving wife and I have done this many times. If my loving husband knows what I am up to, he is smart enough to enjoy the benefits without comment.

    Of course, he scams me right back. For some reason, if I don’t pretend to enjoy fondling his coconuts he can’t seem to muster the energy to fix the dishwasher, the vacuum cleaner, the car, etc.

    Ah, the joys of matrimoney, er, matrimony.

    • ha ha – brilliant.

      I guess if you are both ‘scamming’ each other then it leads to a balanced relationship, which is probably quite healthy.

  11. My wife is a real Jekyll and Hyde type character, loving me when she wants money and ignoring me when she is spending it.

  12. Very clever, I like this one very much as it so reminds me of my wife.

  13. That is very funny and so true of all wives.

    • I don’t know about that… the wife I had never actually qualified as ‘loving’, even when she wanted something :(

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