Many peoples’ lives changed for the good with the advent of the internet but not all is well.
The electronic frontier comes with it’s own new risks, namely viruses.
Here are the 17 most shocking viruses of 2009 –
- Airline Luggage Virus – You’re files are randomly transferred to a remote server in Outer Mongolia.
- Alzheimer’s Virus – All your files remain unharmed but do you think your computer knows where they are?
- Apple Macintosh Virus – Just kidding! Apple Macs don’t get viruses.
- British Government Virus – Once per day it pops up an annoying and untrue message saying what a good job it is doing.
- Child Virus – Annoying as hell but you never seem able to bring yourself to delete it.
- Federal Reserve Virus – Turns all your gold and silver jewellery into worthless bits of paper.
- Global Warming Virus – Disables all the fans in your computer then threatens to fry your processor if you don’t pay a fee.
- Huge Boob Virus – A large handful at first but guaranteed to shrink with the passage of time.
- New World Order Virus – Probably doesn’t exist but worrying just the same.
- Papal Virus – Lets you watch porn all day on condition you click the ‘apologise now’ button when you’ve finished.
- Politically Correct Virus – Secretly installs a draconian censorship program that is impossible to remove.
- Saddam Hussein Virus – Incredibly weak virus bigged up beyond recognition by antivirus makers.
- Swine Flu Virus – Initiates constant popups advertising a fake antivirus program which in fact wipes out your entire system.
- Teenager Virus – Your PC freezes every few seconds and asks for money.
- Titanic Virus – Infects your Apple Mac even though your machine is meant to be immune to viruses.
- Viagra Virus – Corrupts the MBR on your 3.5″ SSD, making it think it is in fact an 8″ hard drive.
- Wife Virus – Deceptively attractive at first but soon consumes all system resources. Only known solution is too expensive to initialise.
The above viruses can all be combated with a sense of humor.
For the rest, try the top 10 antivirus programs of 2012 or the Worst 10 Malware of all time, beginning with the OSXRSPLUG Trojan.