Last month I dug up the ancient Egyptian Khafre and persuaded him to write a pharoah’s guide to multi level marketing.
Now, the world’s most famous butcher, Adolf Hitler, has demanded to be heard.
Over to you Adolf -
Before continuing, Adolf made it clear that being on the bottom of any pyramid dooms to you to a life of subservience, controlled by those who already have the power of money.
Therefore, his tips are aimed purely at those who have proved that they aspire to be part of the master race of downline builders.
BRAINWASHING
“What luck for rulers that men don’t think…”
We all know that 99% or more of network marketers fail.
Why is that do you think?
Is it the business plan? Is it the product? Is it competition in the market place?
Of course not.
MLM failure can be laid firmly on the shoulders of the free-thinking infidels who believe that they can make it on their own.
Therefore, it is imperative that you motivate your downline to discover a new way.
Your way.
Brainwashing is nothing new – it worked for me nearly 3/4 of a century ago and it can work for you now.
You should convince your downline that you have the ability to empower them and right all wrongs.
If you do it well, they will follow you anywhere.
If you do it poorly, some of the following tips may be employed to guarantee compliance.
FEAR
Fear is the most powerful motivating force known to man.
If you want multi level marketing success without getting your own hands dirty then you need to prompt your downline into acting for you.
Some, your generals and lieutenants, will be like-minded individuals who will share your passion for dominating the global market.
The majority, however, will be lazy uninspiring men who simply consume resources without yielding any return upon the investment you have placed in them.
These members of your downline need immediate correction.
This can be achieved through scare tactics.
All members of your downline should be made to realise that failure is not an option. Ever.
If they fail they will have disgraced you, and that is not an option, and so they should fall upon their proverbial swords.
Only pure-bred winners are allowed in your downline.
PROPOGANDA & CONTROL
Success breeds jealousy and contempt.
Look, let’s be frank here.
If you are going to build a master-mlm then you are going to come in for criticism.
It’s crazy, I know, but there are people out there who, due to their poor breeding, feel either jealous or scared of someone else’s success.
Most of these people are weak and will keep their thoughts to themselves.
A few, however, will stand against us and vocalise unfounded concerns about our empire.
These people should be silenced immediately or else they may influence others to believe there is a way of life outside of your mlm.
If you ever come across such naysayers then Herr Goebbels has some carefully prepared responses, tailor-fitted to every possible blog post you may ever come across.
By continually repeating the same positive messages we will, ultimately, convert all who stand in our way.
NARCISSISM
I used to blame my mother for making me narcissistic but as I grew older I learned to leverage the power of my severe personality disorders in order to garner further successes.
Remember, always, that the most important person in your mlm is YOU.
As head of the upline you command equal measures of power, success and brilliance and your downline must always have the ultimate admiration for your talents.
Their pandering and fawning can be harnessed in order to satiate your insecurities for a while, giving welcome periods of respite during which you can concentrate on furthering your agenda.
Those outside of your sphere of control may see you as arrogant, or even maniacal, but do not let that worry you.
As long as your people worship you will feel validated enough to carry on.
In time, all non-believers will be converted through one or more of these tips and they will join your downline, willingly or otherwise.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I think Ray needs to loosen up a little. I’m a network marketer but I still enjoy reading the articles here because they are done with humor even if they are a little negative about the opporunities that MLM offer.
Thanks Mike, it’s great to know that some of my posts have broad appeal.
I really do not see how you can draw any comparisons between hitler and mlm. Your logic is very flawed.
It’s a parody post Ray, written tongue-in-cheek, as I did with the Pharoah’s Guide To MLM one.
So your saying Hitler started the war because he chose the wrong sponsor?
Of course not! Though it may have been a factor
I think thats a pretty good commentary of network marketing. Interesting choice of presentation.
Thanks KY4P
Apparently Hitler started WW2 after his sponsor fled to Poland with all their pyramid scheme’s profits.
Ha ha, very witty
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