Heres 5 Tips For Dealing With A Low Spam Count

by Lee on May 25, 2009

in Humor

I’ve always been very productive and have 3 beautiful and healthy spam folders.

I guess I must be very fortunate as my comment filter has always been able to rise for the occasion and I have never suffered with any other problems in my blogging life, though I know a few men who have.

Most of those men are full of pride and so they find it hard embarrassing to talk about their problem.

You see, no-one likes to admit to having a low spam count.

low-spam-count

There is, however, hope.

The following 5 tips will help you raise your spam count to levels you have never dared to dream of and the effects are long-lasting too.

Tip #1 – NEVER use a disposable email address

Bit of a no-brainer this one but if you want copious amounts of spam then you need to make it easy on yourself.

Right now you may find the thought of displaying your real email address in public rather scary and I can sympathise with that.

If you want to overcome your low spam count you need to conquer that fear though and the best way is to use it as much as possible.

So, whip it out at and plow the furrows of the web at every opportunity.

Your email client will love you for it.

Tip #2 – Love your click, every time

Signing up for a newsletter?

Buying a product online?

If so, use the opportunity to boost your self esteem.

Most of these occasions present an opportunity to click little checkboxes and the more you click the better your chances of getting firm results.

Quantity is everything and so you should sign up to everything possible because tackling the problem in hand is the first step to recovery.

Tip #3 – Make your email address easy to read

You see it all the time, shy and confused men using strange symbolism in an attempt to hide their shame at having such a problem with their spam.

I mean, come on, why are you using such strange codes on those forums you visit?

you[at]yourdomain[dot]com might mean something to a human but how on earth is a voluptuous spam bot going to work out how to contact you by harvesting that off the web page?

Its childish and it doesn’t work so don’t do it.

Tip #4 – Never use long, complicated email addresses

Ok, so you have a delicate problem but come on, its not the end of the earth.

I know your ego is hurting but using ridiculously long email addresses prevents you from overcoming your problem, not to mention the fact that it speaks volumes about you.

If your email address is something like

ihavealongemailaddresstomakeupforotherdeficiencies@ivorsmallone.com

then everyone knows exactly what you mean.

And they’re laughing at you.

Tip #5 – Get rid of that contact form

If you have your own website then someone may once have told you to get a contact form.

That may work for them but they are not you.

Get rid of it now and type your email address directly onto every page of your site instead.

Within 24 hours your spam level will go through the roof.

Trust me.

DO YOU HAVE A LOW SPAM COUNT?

Share this post: Tweet It | Facebook It | Stumble It | Digg It | Delicious It

Related Posts

  • What Is Spam, What Are It’s Effects And How Do I Prevent It?
  • Why Did I Suddenly Lose Loads Of Twitter Followers?
  • I Have To Give My Email Address To Some Websites – How Can I Minimise The Amount Of Spam I Receive?
  • Can The Spam
  • Follow Me, Unfollow You – Gaming Twitter
  • The Origin Of Spam
  • A Word To Your Grandmother : Explaining Computer Infections
  • Is There A Link Between Spam And The Global Warming Hoax?
  • I’m Receiving A Lot Of SMS Spam – Should I Unsubscribe From It?
  • Twitter – Scam, Spam & Security
  • { 6 comments… read them below or add one }

    Col May 27, 2009 at 12:53 am

    LOL Great work old boy :D

    Reply

    Lee May 27, 2009 at 12:58 am

    Why thankyou young man!

    Reply

    Mike May 26, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Oh this was funny.

    Reply

    Lee May 27, 2009 at 12:58 am

    Thanks Mike.

    Reply

    Anna Luiz May 26, 2009 at 9:27 am

    Ha ha, good way of getting your point across.

    Reply

    Lee May 27, 2009 at 12:57 am

    Glad you liked it Anna Luiz :)

    Reply

    Leave a Comment

    Previous post:

    Next post: