Darth Tater And The Dark Side Of The Scam

In a constant battle to get part the gullible from their money, the scammers are continuously devising new methods of tricking people.

As the internet evolves and new technologies emerge the means of detecting and avoiding scams improves. However, the scammers are no slouches and so they react by using the same advances to their advantage, employing both new technology and different ways of thinking to their ruses.

The earliest scams probably began at the dawn of time. Obviously the medium back then would have been word of mouth. However, over time, evolution first gave the scammer the letter, then the fax machine and now the internet.


Today I was wondering what the next step in the evolution of the scam would be. As luck would have it, it was precisely at that time that I received the following email which just goes to show that the period in time doesn’t actually matter – the scams are always the same, just with the words changed around a bit –

Mr. Darth Tater
Cubicle 3
Jedi Temple
contact: No need to reply, I can read your mind

Good morning,

This may come as a surprise considering we have never met or conversed before but I have a strange feeling about you, something I haven’t felt since… oh, nevermind!

I am contacting you because of a business concerning a huge sum of money from a deceased deposit in the Bank of Rodia on my home planet of Tatooine. I appreciate that a transaction of this magnitude is of galactic proportions but I am certain that all will progress smoothly. If you don’t believe me then I have ways of making sure you do. But enough of that, there is much urgency required.

Here is the scam deal :

A Bothan spy was persuaded to inform me of an abandoned account in the Bank of Rodia. The owner was rather Greedo and amassed a huge fortune during his lifetime but unfortunately died in the corner of a rather seedy Tatooine bar.

Further neck pinches discussion also revealed that shortly afterwards his family became Bantha fodder after a most unfortunate incident involving a landspeeder and some conveniently snapped brake cables.

Before his untimely demise, Greedo deposited the sum of IC32000000000.00 (thirty-two billion Imperial Credits) into the Bank of Rodia account which he was to intending to invest into a podracing bodykit business. My insider at the bank, a young farmer boy called Bigs, informs me that no other relatives, living or dead, have come forward to collect this sum as heir, this is why I have chosen you.

My man tells me that if the account is not claimed soon then the bank is duty bound to hand the money to the Hutts as unclaimed. However, should a next of kin be found then they may make claim.

On discovery of this I decide that you will make claim (if you choose not to I can be very, very persuasive). Obviously I would make claim myself if it wasn’t for the cancerous ailment I have, but that is another story. For now please forward me the following details :

  1. Full name and address
  2. Galactic subnet communication channel
  3. Occupation and favourite position
  4. Race (Wookies need not apply)
  5. Marital Status
  6. Inside leg measurement
  7. GSN (Galactic Security Number)

These informations will permit me to file claim on your behalf to the necessary officials and legal peoples whereupon you will then go to the Tatooine system, there you will meet with Bigs, the inside man who can release my our funds.

Upon completions of all formalities you will receive 30% for your efforts and troubles and a further 10% will be set aside for expenses. The remaining 60% will be mine for investing into my pet research project on Armour Plated Titanium Armour and The Effects of Chaffing.

If this proposal meets with your approval I can dispense with the old jedi mind tricks and proceed you application on receipt of your confidential informations. Please bear in mind the sensitiveness of this situation and tell no-one, I have every trust in your condfidentiality in this matter.

Please reply me at darthtater@sithlordsruleok.com

warmest Regards

Darth Tater.

About Lee Munson

Lee's non-technical background allows him to write about internet security in a clear way that is understandable to both IT professionals and people just like you who need simple answers to your security questions.


  1. As a Star Wars fan this really made me giggle.

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