President Bush, previously renowned for taking little interest in the threat of Global Warming, last night vowed to tackle the problem head on.
Speaking from The White House, George W. Bush promised to make climate change the main focus for his remaining time in office.
The President went on to outline his plans for saving the planet from the brink of destruction.
To show how seriously he took the issue, Bush last night ordered more than 21,000 troops to stand ready, pending an all out attack on the sun.
The President explained that he saw direct military action against the fiery gas giant as being the only way forward.
When questioned by an attending journalist, Bush defended the use of American troops in the operation, citing the breakdown in diplomatic efforts as a cue for more persuasive methods to be employed.
In a long awaited 30 minute prime time address from the White House library Mr Bush acknowledged that his administration should have acted sooner.
He said that it had been a mistake not to deploy American troops much earlier, especially as the sun continually failed to respond to his own very personal appeals for a peaceful resolution.
Considering the President’s previous ambivalence to Global Warming it was unsurprising, perhaps, that journalists chose to question his 180 degree turn in policy.
After intense questioning Mr Bush finally had to concede that his change of heart was financially motivated –
“The economic consequences of ignoring Global Warming are severe”, said the President, who added, “if the planet were to be completely destroyed by rising temperatures then America would lose several good trade partners”.
The President finished the press conference by saying, “It is our solemn duty as Americans to face this threat to our economy face on. We will not bow down in the face of interplanetary terrorism”.
Following the President’s departure from the stand, various White House officials were on hand to field the barrage of questions from the attending press.
A leading National Security Advisor confirmed that protection of the interests of the United States of America and it’s people was the number one concern.
He confirmed that ‘a government think tank had been set up to sort through the many conflicting opinions on Global Warming’.
The spokesman went on to add that the working group were considering all possible solutions and would especially like to hear from anyone who can back up their claims with scientific facts.
“To this end, we are in the process of setting up a ‘Bring Us Real News’ website, otherwise known as “BURN””, he said.
A spokeswoman from the Treasury then arrived to confirm that The White House will seek an extra $666bn of funding from Congress for the new initiative, including $5.6bn for troop deployment, $8.4bn for spacecraft and the remainder for undisclosed miscellaneous expenses.
Disclaimer : the above post is satire, if you believe it then you need your head examining!!!